Tearing open the backdrops
of the holidays, the dinners, the shopping, the presents,
all the security and love I felt:
"You are worthless"
"Nothing matters more than your happiness."
"It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn't encouraged them, like a whore."
"You can reach for anything you want."
"I can take this away if you don't play my game."
"Why wouldn't you be excellent? We're both the same!"
"Prove yourself useful and I might give you praise."
"You're so clever, you get it from me."
Of course you said some of those lines differently.
And I really didn't get it from you.
I was simple.
I still only know to root for you.
I still only wish you well.
I still don't believe the things I've now seen.
It's still a habit to make excuses.
Because I still treasure the person I was able to be.
I like being someone who can't help but love.
So good luck,
I really mean it.
I know you can handle yourself well.
💌 Find part 1 here.